Saying 18

My son, give me your heart
    and let your eyes delight in my ways,
for an adulterous woman is a deep pit,
    and a wayward wife is a narrow well.
Like a bandit she lies in wait
    and multiplies the unfaithful among men.

Proverbs 23:26-28

Since v. 27 begins with the explanatory word “for”, this verse is introducing what that and later verses develop; namely, a solemn warning against the temptation of infidelity in marriage (a subject to which earlier sections devoted much material: 5: 1-23; 6:20-35; 7:1-27). Notice, too, that the passages in chapters 5, 6, 7 are always introduced with a similar getting of the son’s attention before beginning the actual material, to impress the son with what the father was saying.

Temptation is given a double description, both of which resemble: a “deep ditch” and a “narrow pit”. This represents a danger to avoid. Proverbs 22:14 similarly says, “The mouth of an adulterous woman is a deep pit; a man who is under the Lord’s wrath falls into it.” Since there is nothing to gain by falling into a deep ditch and a narrow pit, Proverbs 6:32 rightfully says, “But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself.” Look at the dangers brought on by one’s disregarding this warning: Proverbs 5:11; 6:32-34; 7:22,23,26,27.

“She” is out working her trade (Proverbs 7:12). Like a robber she does not lose an opportunity (Proverbs 7:13-21). Men who thus become unfaithful to wives, or vice versa, might well be described as “treacherous”. Malachi shows that men who turn from the wives of their youth deal “treacherously” with them (Malachi 2: 10,14-16).

As I read all these verses about infidelity, I’m struck by two things: First, these verses always place the “son” in the position of being so terribly innocent, and the women as being wicked and calculating. I think that we can agree that this isn’t the typical situation in real life, then or now. The Scriptures are written this way for several purely cultural reasons which I have discussed several times before on this blog. The real message is that adultery is something that a person can slip into easily if they aren’t careful.

The second thing is that, in spite of the fact that we can see right away that blaming the whole problem on the wicked woman, our culture tends to blame it all on the wicked man, and that is just as obviously untrue. As I’ve said so many times both in classes and here on the blog, all those wicked men are with someone while they are cheating, and a great many of those “someones” are busy cheating on their husbands or boyfriends.

Neither men nor women have sole claim to innocence or wickedness; we all are subject to human failings and should be on guard against it.