Peter moves on from his discussion of Christian slaves and their masters in which he called upon slaves to be good and reliable workers who respect their masters for the sake of the Gospel, and now applies the same thinking to marriage.
Marriage is an interesting relationship: Two people love one another, live together and relate on multiple levels with each other… and they get to know each other for all of their faults, and all of their strengths. They see each other at their worst and at their best, and they have times of bliss and times of turmoil. Peter teaches that each is to put the other first.
He tells wives that they should submit to their husbands, as Paul says that wives should obey their husbands. Peter says that husbands should be considerate to and give respect to their wives. Paul says that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her. Even though some today would be critical of these comments, in truth, allowing for the fact that Peter and Paul wrote in a very different cultural context, the message is really the same: Each should put the other ahead of themselves. For one thing, this is a recipe for a happy marriage in most cases, for another reason, this is how we are supposed to treat everyone. It is how Jesus behaved toward everyone also.
Sadly, as in some other areas, there have been those who used Bible passages for selfish purposes at various points over the years, using selectively some of these injunctions to assert male dominance over women. People who deliberately misapply Scripture are called “false teachers” by the Scriptures, and in our time, I think that it is important that we not allow the sins of false teachers to sour God’s Word for us. The whole point of these passages is to demonstrate what Christ’s love looks like in action in various everyday situations. Oppressiveness toward one’s spouse can hardly be called the love of Christ. Putting the interests of the other person first, even when they are not being very lovable, is always Christ-like. Being abusive and then citing the Word to justify it is downright evil.
Putting others first, is very much like something Jesus said one day. It’s a rather famous statement, and I’ll bet you’ve heard it once or twice: Do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Yes, that’s it, the Golden Rule− That is how husbands and wives are supposed to behave toward each other. So, one cup of the Golden Rule, plus a teaspoon of forgiveness is a good recipe to begin a happy marriage.
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
1 Peter 3:8-9
In these two verses, Peter is telling us what it looks like when we love one another. What may confound us at times is that He has set this out as an imperative, making it a lesson or instructions. When a group of people share real fellowship, what happens, what do they look like to others?
Well, let’s see, they are in harmony, they aren’t fighting, they are gentle and they are humble in their demeanor, caring for one another. They are forgiving of one another, and they are blessings to one another. Isn’t that about what he said? OK, maybe you are thinking that I simply found different words and re-wrote the text… a kind of paraphrase. Fine, then let’s think about it.
To love is to put the interests of others ahead of our own interests. So, when it comes to opinions, we are not going to argue and fight to “win” every point, we are going to respect the views of other people, and in this we are “like-minded.” That love involves being sympathetic with those whom we love is pretty much a given, right?
Can you love a person and not have compassion when they are hurting? Of course not, because you care about them. Isn’t the same true for humility? If you are putting their interests ahead of your own, you aren’t going to be cramming things down their throats are you? It would seem not…
If someone you love sins against you, aren’t they usually the first ones that you are willing to forgive? So, there is no evil for evil and insult for insult. No, you would try to be a blessing to those you love, even when they aren’t being good to you… forgiveness again.
See it now? Peter is describing love in action:
For,
“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
and their lips from deceitful speech.
They must turn from evil and do good;
they must seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
1 Peter 3:10-12
Lord, may we become the people you would have us to be, loving one another as you loved us, so that in all that we do, we would be pleasing in Your sight.
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