Life Project Blog

Ephesians 5:21-33

With these verses, Paul moves from the general instruction about a Christian’s life to a more specific instruction, beginning with the relationship of marriage, a subject that he writes about in more than one letter, as you know. To be perfectly honest, these aren’t my favorite topics to blog about, for it’s easy to get the wrong impression about where this is headed; a post on this text tends to run a bit long as a result; even so, let’s try the short version today.

The main point to keep in mind as you read this, (ladies in particular) is that the relationship between husband and wife isn’t even Paul’s main point. Gentlemen, I think it is also very important that we recognize right off, that historical and cultural attitudes of the past might color our view of some of this, for over the centuries in male dominated societies, our forefathers sometimes ignored the rules of context here, preferring to seize upon certain verses to impose upon their wives some pretty idiotic ideas, ideas that are entirely in opposition to Paul’s teaching.

Yep, one of these days, I’ll do a series of posts, maybe a whole book on Biblical marriage; that’s probably what it would take to it justice. Biblical teachings on marriage aren’t what most people think they are, at least in my view, for they are always really about our relationships with God more than anything else.

Context: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (verse 21) Did you catch “to one another”?

Verses 22-24 are historically our favorite verses in the entire Bible to quote out of context: Yes sir, wives should submit to their husbands in everything! Ladies, please bear in mind that I usually refer to my wife as “She Who Must Be Obeyed”! Paul is using a cultural attitude from the first century Roman Empire to illustrate the relationship between Christ, represented here by husbands, and the church, represented by wives. He is not authorizing husbands to mistreat their wives, for that would be a violation of the marriage covenant.

Verses 25-31 are instructions to husbands, who are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church… “and gave Himself up for her.” Jesus gave up His very life on the cross for the church, and likewise, Paul is telling husbands they should give up their very lives for their wives. Most of the time, husbands don’t need to give up their physical lives for their wives, no it’s more like their will, ambitions and “self”. Thus, for a preacher to teach, and a Christian husband to assert domination over wives is purely a perversion of the text.

Wives give up self by submission, husbands give up self by devotion, and the result is a partnership, not domination; everybody wins.

Consider this: Isn’t this what we’ve been saying all along? Giving up self and serving others? Sounds like love doesn’t it?

The final two verses were seldom quoted in days gone by, and they aren’t always mentioned now either:

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:32-33

You see, this whole conversation is about Christ and the church; marriage is supposed to be the illustration of that relationship, an illustration that we all recognize and understand, but thanks to the sinful nature of this world, it requires a lot more explaining than perhaps it used to in Paul’s day.

Oh yes, and by the way, husbands really should love their wives as they love themselves, and wives really should respect their husbands.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 5:15-20

These words are as fresh and vibrant today as they were 2,000 years ago, and they point us to one inescapable conclusion: Place your priority on God.

It matters how we live our lives, where we choose to place our priorities and what we think about and do and say. It matters that we let opportunities slip through our fingers, or that we don’t lend our brother a hand when he needs it. It matters when we make ourselves so very busy that we aren’t available to serve our Master or our loved ones or our neighbor, yes dear reader, it really matters.

Verse 17 is key: We are not to be foolish; instead we are to understand the Lord’s will.

Great Paul, but what is His will?

Yesterday I heard about a pastor who recently asked his congregation to spend the next four weeks praying to God that He would reveal His purpose to them. It seems that pastor told his flock that no one can know the purpose and will of God, so as I come to this verse today, I’m struck by the contrast between Paul and this pastor… yet maybe they just have different ways of saying the same thing. Maybe he was trying to teach his congregation to spend time in their relationship with Christ, clearly that is where Paul is taking his readers.

We mustn’t fill ourselves with wine, but with the Spirit. He expresses his thought further in the remaining verses by saying we should speak to one another in psalms, hymns and songs from the Spirit. Some will disagree with me on this, but I see this musical approach as a metaphor, maybe because I’m a poor singer. I see this as a metaphor for being focused on our relationships with Him and letting Him speak and work through us, so that when people see us, they see Him at work in us. If this means we sing, then I guess we ought to sing!

However you see the musical aspect of this, Paul’s meaning is clear: If our lives are centered on our relationship with Jesus Christ, then He will live in us and through us. If our lives are centered on self and the things of this world, we will be on a difficult and fruitless path.

 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
    rise from the dead,
    and Christ will shine on you.”

Ephesians 5:8-14

This is an interesting piece of text, following along in context with that of our last passage. Actually, it’s quite simple: We were once darkness, now we are light, so pursue those things that are produced by the light of God’s truth and avoid the old ways of darkness.

Simple; you knew that, right?

There are two things about this that are curious; the first of which is found in vv. 11-13. We are to stay away from the fruitless deeds of darkness, instead exposing those nasty dark things done in secret…

As I read it, you can take this one of two ways: First, maybe Paul means that we should sneak into those secret places where things are going on that are shameful to even discuss, and then tell everybody what you saw so those deeds will be exposed. This sounds like a politician’s method to me. The other way you could take this is that we share the light with those who live in darkness so that the light may shine in their lives and shed truth on their misdeeds…

Personally, I think Paul gives us a pretty good clue as to his intention when he mentions that even discussing what goes on in secret in certain places is shameful. If it is shameful to mention such things, then big public announcements seem even more shameful to me.

The other curious thing is the quotation in verse 14. I have no clue who or what Paul is quoting; obviously it isn’t the Old Testament, even though Paul set the quote up just like he would an OT quotation. Might he have made a mistake, thinking this was a Scriptural quotation? Frankly I doubt it. More likely it was something very familiar to the Ephesians that has been lost to history; maybe it was something Paul taught there, or an Ephesian’s representation of Paul’s words. In any event, it’s a pretty good saying, don’t you agree?