In most cases, our feelings and emotions don’t help us to make the right choices when we have been wronged. In such cases anger, outrage and hurt are normal and sensible reactions, but as experience teaches us, these usually fade with the passing of time, and we begin to heal. We may not always be ready to forgive a wrong at the moment of its occurrence, but within a reasonable time frame, we come to the place where we can make the choice to forgive, and we should do so. If you consider our opening verses from Galatians, I think this point should be clear, after all, does unforgiveness belong in the category of acts of the flesh, or as one of the fruits of the Spirit? Again, fully healing is a process and may take time, but it is sped up considerably after we make the choice to forgive.

“Hold on a minute, what if the person doesn’t ask for forgiveness?”

“If your brother or sistersins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” Luke 17:4-5

Some might quote this verse as “proof” that they needn’t forgive if there is no repentance… and even to justify “letting them have it.” Unfortunately, they would have a contextual problem, however. In Luke’s account, this falls into a section on the duty of a servant, you might find the full context of interest: Luke 17:1-10. I think you’ll discover that Jesus didn’t give you an “out” He gave you a command involving maximum humility. Matthew writes on the same question in Matthew 18:21-33 and follows with the parable of the unfaithful servant, the bottom line of which is forgive or you won’t be forgiven.